HOW MANY MICE DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB?
  Two, but don't ask me how they got in there
  
  WHAT DO HURRICANES, TORNADOES AND WOMEN HAVE IN COMMON?
  They all suck and blow, but in the end they will just take your house.
  
  WHY DON'T BLIND PEOPLE SKY-DIVE?
  It scares the shit out of their dogs
  
  WHAT ARE THE THREE WORST WORDS TO HEAR DURING SEX?
  Honey, I'm home.
  
  DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MAN WHO OVER-DOSED ON VIAGRA?
  They had to have an open casket...
  
  WHAT DO YOU CALL A MAN WITH HALF A BRAIN?  Gifted
  
  DO YOU KNOW WHY BANKERS ARE GOOD LOVERS?
  They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal
  
  WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
  So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties
  
  HOW'S A MAN LIKE A SNOWSTORM?
  You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how
long it will last
  
  WHAT DO MEN AND LINOLEUM HAVE IN COMMON?
  If you lay 'em right the first time, you can walk all over them for the
  next fifty years
  
  WHAT IS THE THINNEST BOOK IN THE WORLD?
  "What Men Know About Women"
  
  WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND GOVERNMENT BONDS?
  Bonds mature
  
  HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A ROLL OF TOILET PAPER?
  We don't know, it never happened
  
  WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAN AND E.T.?  E.T. phones home
  
  WHAT DO YOU HAVE WHEN YOU HAVE TWO BALLS IN YOUR HAND?
  A man's undivided attention
  
  HOW DO YOU FIND A BLIND MAN IN A NUDIST COLONY?
  It isn't hard...