Our local drugstore was robbed of 500 bottles of Viagra.
The suspect is known to be a hardened criminal!

Know you're a Redneck when.........
You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?
A: Lipstick! 

Q: What did the sign at the Hillbilly movie theater say?
A: Children under thirteen not admitted unless accompanied by their husbands.

Q. What's the difference between men and pigs?
A. Pigs don't turn into men when they drink!

A guy goes to the optometrist. The Doctor tells him, "You've got to stop masturbating!"
"Why Doc," he asked, "am I going blind?"
"No," the Doctor explained, "but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room!"