Subject: Redneck Census Form
Last name: ________________
(Check
appropriate box)
First name:
[_] Billy-Bob
[_] Bobby-Sue
[_]
Billy-Joe
[_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray
[_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue
[_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae
[_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack
[_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex:
____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[_] Farmer
[_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser
[_]
Waitress
[_] Un-employed
[_] Dirty Politician
Spouse's Name:
__________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: __________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________
Lover's Name:
__________________________
2nd Lover's Name: __________________________
Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister
[_] Aunt
[_] Brother
[_] Uncle
[_] Mother
[_] Son
[_] Father
[_] Daughter
[_]
Cousin
[_] Pet
Number of children living in household: ___
Number of children living in shed: ___
Number of children that are
yours: ___
Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name:
_______________________(If not sure, leave
blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4
(Circle highest grade completed)
Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile
home? (Check appropriate
box)
Vehicles you own and where you keep
them:
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that
still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles
in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Firearms you
own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ kitchen
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ shed
Model and year of your pickup:
_____________ 194_
Number of road kills presently in your freezer?
[
] 3
[ ] 5
[ ] 10 or more
Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_]
No; If no, please explain:
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] The National Enquirer
[_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide
[_] Soap
Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun
___ Number of times you've seen a
UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've
seen Elvis in a UFO
How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_]
Monthly
[_] Not Applicable
How many teeth? ___
Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow
[_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown
[_] Black
[_] N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_] Red-Man
How far is
your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile
[_] 2 miles
[_] don't
know