DOWN AT THE NURSING HOME

Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly
despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that
she would just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out
Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the
heart since it was so badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to
miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone,
she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the
heart would be.

"On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below
your left breast."

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a
gunshot wound to her knee.