Airport Security:

Almost 150 years. ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a
private investigator - Alan Pinkerton - for protection. That was the
beginning of the Secret Service.

Since that time federal police authority has grown to a large number of
multi-letter agencies - FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, etc. Now comes
the "Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service."

Can't you see them now, these highly trained men and women in their
black outfits with their initials in large white letters across their backs:
"FATASS."

I feel safer already.