Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? Answers: Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was. Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take. John Locke: Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty. Albert Camus: It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him. The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, 'Thou shalt cross the road.' And the Chicken crossed the road, And there was much rejoicing Fox Mulder: It was a government conspiracy. Freud: The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads. Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, 'What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?' Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the'black man' in order to trample him and keep him down. Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. Dirk Gently (Holistic Detective): I'm not exactly sure why, but right now I've got a horse in my bathroom. Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it still gets 1.4999999999. George Orwell: Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests. Colonel Sanders: I missed one? Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability. Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. Pyrrho the Sceptic: What road? Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain. Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed it, I've not been told!