These are true. Oh what a world!

The following is an excerpt from an article in the Wall Street Journal:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command
"Press Any Key" to Press Return Key" because of
the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining
that her mouse was hard to control with the dust
cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic
bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a
man complaining that the system wouldn't read word
processing files from his old diskettes. The customer
had stuck labels on the diskettes, then rolled them
into his typewriter to type on the labels.

4. Another customer was asked to send a copy of her
defective diskettes. A few days later, a letter arrived
from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies.

5. A Dell technician advised a customer to put his troubled
floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer
asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone
down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door
to his room.

6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his
computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of
trouble-shooting, the tech discovered the man was trying
to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the
monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

7. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his
keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up
his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a
day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

8. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was
enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an
invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command"
and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

9. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.
He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't
find printer". The user had tried turning the computer screen to
face the printer, but that his computer still couldn't "see" the
printer.

10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get
her new Dell computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed
the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot
pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
computer's mouse.

11. Another customer called Compaq Tech Support to say her brand-new
computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it
in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen.
When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she
asked "What Power switch?"

12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am.
Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show?"
Caller: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a
promotional. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he
couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been
using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and
snapped it off the drive!

13. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang
for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to
put in the second disk, and I had some problems with that disk.
When it said to put in the third disk - I couldn't even fit it
in.."
The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.