Subject:  Best/Worst Signs Posted

1. IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your
clothes when the light goes out.

2. IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE:  Bargain Basement Upstairs

3. IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday 
please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

4. IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot 
and stand upside down on the draining board.

5. ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this 
door.
(This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)

6. OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing
machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

7. QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be
drowned. By order of the District Council.

8. NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here 
for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

9. IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.

10. SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

11. SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn't 
know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

12. NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for
free, but the bull charges.

13. MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you
how to get lessons.

14. ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on 
the door - the bell doesn't work)

15. SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of order.
Please use floor below.