~~~Cuckoo clock~~~
 The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys". I told my
 wife I would be in at midnight.
 Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy.
 At around 2:30 am, drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got
 in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3
 times.
 Quickly, I realized she would probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9
 times. I was really proud of myself, having a
 quick-witted solution even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.
 The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her
 twelve o'clock. She did not seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away
 with that one.
 She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her
 why, she said, " Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then
 said, "oh shit", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed
 another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more and then
 farted."